Today I am 22 weeks pregnant on paper. Technically it was Tuesday but it's easier for me to just go by what my paperwork says. When I went to my second OB appointment to measure the size of the one fetus we thought was in there, he measured right on track with what I knew was the right date but my OB agreed to stick with the date that their standard calculator gave in order to give me a couple extra days at the end before induction became an issue. Ahhahahahahaha! I'm still hoping this is something I have to worry about down the road but it's really not likely and it's nowhere near the biggest of my concerns.
Look at Lincoln's little face! He knows how ridiculous I was to worry about such things, but then again he knew all along that there were two brothers in there. I won't minimize the legitimate concerns I had about carrying past my due date and facing uneccesary interventions. I firmly believe that birth matters and should happen in a way that respects the mother at all times. My history with childbirth is varied and complex and I have ALL the feelings about birth but I'm finding, yet again, that I need to embrace the scary and unknown and accept that things are most likely not going to go the way I would like.
My appointment this week went really well. Cooper's fluid was lower at around 4.56 cm and I don't know if that's just a matter of positioning or a different ultrasound tech or normal ebb and flow. Dr B said that their fluid still looked very symmetrical, their blood flows were wonderful, and she was comfortable not seeing me for two weeks. It's exciting to be at a place where she is comfortable with that but I'm struggling a little with waiting that long. It has only been a few days and I'm already super paranoid that something is going to go terribly wrong. I have every confidence in my doctors but can't help but worry at all times.
22 weeks finds me trying to accept how close we are to 24 weeks. My OB told me last week that because 24 weeks is considered viability it is the point where any turn for the worse becomes a question of if the boys are better out than in. We have no reason to suspect that things will take another turn for the worse but the thought that we could have such early babies is just insane to me. I've been doing a little research on NICU experiences so that I can at least know a little bit what to expect if that is in our future. I've also been trying to mention to the girls that their brothers might come early and might be sick and might have to stay in the hospital for awhile. I don't want to scare them but I also feel like it is important for them to understand why things might be very different this time than when each of them were born and came home. Many NICUs don't allow anyone under 16 or so to visit and I could see that being very difficult on older siblings. So I'm trying to walk the line between preparing them for the maybes and making them worry more than they need to about their brothers. I have been watching prices on car seats and ordered some from my Amazon registry yesterday that I chose specifically because they are safe from 4 lbs up. Many carseats aren't made for smaller babies and knowing that they may be early left me searching for something that could bring them home as early as possible. I'm sure that when those seats arrive it's going to feel way too real that there will be actual babies in them in a few months!
The picture above isn't the most adorable ever but it's one of those wondrous things about a twin pregnancy. That's just a jumble of arms and legs from both babies. During this scan in the early morning Lincoln was transverse on the top of my belly and Cooper was breech at the bottom. I went to see my OB a couple hours later and she saw them in a completely different position. I'm not sure at what point they'll get too squished to do so much moving but I'd love it if they could just both get head down now and stay that way until the end! I'm not very hopeful that I'm going to avoid a c-section but in a perfect world these babies will both be head down when spontaneous labor begins at 37 weeks and they will just slide right out in a few short hours.
I'm pretty sure these boys are going to be the most adorable sons ever born. Their little noses are just so perfect. My next appointment will be just before 24 weeks and they'll measure growth again. We'll be hoping for nice fat babies once again and beautiful numbers for fluid and dopplers. I'm definitely feeling large and unwieldy lately. Any attempts at physical activity have me stopping halfway through to spend the rest of the day laying down. Cleaning my bathroom brought on hours of lower back pain/tightness and a couple worrisome contractions. Vaccuming the living room once again left my pelvis screaming for mercy. I suffer from SPD during my pregnancies and thankfully haven't had too many episodes this go 'round but my pelvis is sure to let me know when I'm moving too much. Mike's mom has offered to pay for a cleaning service as a Christmas gift and the search hasn't gone well so far but the last few days have me very ready to take advantage of this amazing gift and not be responsible for any more vaccuuming or mopping! I'm off to make a list of phone numbers.
I hope this weeks finds you all well and warm and happy. I've been very touched to see comments from friends and family and know how many of you are thinking of our boys and loving them from near and far. Hi Aunts and Uncles and cousins!
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